BY KATE GRAHAM
I’d been nagging the boyfriend to take me to Paris for years. I could just see it… We’d do all the clichés: walk alongside the Seine, eat crumbly croissants and kiss under the Eiffel Tower. I got nowhere. Until I had a brainwave. Okay, so romance and electronics don’t usually go together, but in this case I’d struck gold – a tiny gadget that promised to test “love levels" at any given moment. All we had to do was hold hands, press our free fingers on the Love Tester (£7.65 from www.rapidonline.com) and voilà, the passion level appeared on 10 lights. So smooches for me, “science” for him and a foolproof way to test some of the city’s famous love locations! Here’s the tale of our passionate pash sessions in Paris…
Towering love
Starting with the most obvious spot of all, we took one look at the snaking queues leading to the Eiffel Tower – and decided not to bother going to the top! No matter: for us, it was all about the structure itself, rather than the view it affords. We stood at its base, craning our necks as we looked up at one of the world’s most recognisable landmarks. We wandered around, holding hands and feeling very loved-up… then clutched the Love Tester and grinned like idiots for photos.
ROMANCE LEVEL: 6 (maybe the score would have been higher if we went higher up?!)
Tour Eiffel, 5 Avenue Anatole France, Champ de Mars, www.tour-eiffel.fr. Second floor by elevator: €8 (€4.50 by stairs), top floor by elevator: €13.
Art break
It’s a must for art-minded romantics, but if your Parisian escape leaves little time for loved-up loitering in the Louvre, wandering its halls all weekend might not be an option. The solution? A private one-hour tour focusing on the three ladies of the Louvre: the Venus de Milo, the winged goddess Nike and the Mona Lisa. There was, of course, a strike going on, but this being France, it simply involved men in skinny jeans and pointy shoes flinging pieces of paper from balconies and playing bad music in the lobby. It didn’t detract from the romance one iota, and as we gazed at famous visions and listened to tales of love in centuries gone by, my heart pumped a little bit harder – and we notched up a decent score on the Love Tester.
ROMANCE LEVEL: 7
Paris Private Guides, www.parisprivateguides.com; €65 per person, incl admission.
A novel night
As we walked into the lobby of the Balzac Hotel, just a minute from the famous Champs Elysées, I knew we were in for a treat. Minimalism be damned, this five-star palace (named after Honoré de Balzac, the 19th-century giant of French literature) was fabric-swagged to within an inch of its life and the whole place reeked of romance. After dinner we strolled arm-in-arm along elegant, tree-lined boulevards, returning to find sweet treats waiting in our bedroom. Nibbling the macaroons as we gazed at the city lights from our private balcony, we put the Love Tester to the, um, test – and then slept under a canopied bed.
ROMANCE LEVEL: 8
Balzac Hotel, 6 rue Balzac, www.hotelbalzac.com; rooms from €248.
Home, sweet home
Home, on our second night, was to be a gorgeous bed and breakfast in the 10th arrondissement. We easily found our way to the address, but then struck trouble: there was no sign, no obvious doorbell and tempers were beginning to fray. But one phone call and all was forgiven. Peet, the wonderfully warm owner, welcomed us with open arms and then gave us a quick tour of the gorgeous three-bedroom apartment – all elegant white cornicing, period details and shabby chic fabrics – before pouring us each a glass of red wine. We sat on the soft sofa, the room lit by flickering candles, and romance was restored – even the Love Tester agreed.
ROMANCE LEVEL: 6
A Room in Paris, 130 Rue LaFayette, www.aroominparis.com; from €70 with breakfast.
Paris, je t’aime
Famous sights are all very well, but I wanted to test the romance of real Paris. We struck lucky with a woman called – yes – Paris, who takes small groups through less well-known neighbourhoods. We wandered through tiny traditional arcades and back streets, seranaded by tales of writers and artists who lived here in years gone by. It all ended with mulled wine in a local café – and a reasonable score on the Love Tester.
ROMANCE LEVEL: 5
Paris by Paris, www.parisbyparis.com; prices on application.
In”"seine"ly in love
What is it about being on the water that’s so inherently romantic? We hopped on a Seine cruise and, as the sun set, snuggled up while drifting past iconic monuments and under ancient bridges. And like something out of a movie, just as we stepped back on to dry land, the Eiffel Tower burst into sparkling lights.
ROMANCE LEVEL: 8
Bateaux Parisiens, Port de la Bourdonnais, www.bateauxparisiens.com; one-hour sightseeing cruise, €11 per person.
Mane attraction
What could be more romantic than a horse and carriage ride through the city of love? Huge smiles spread across our faces soon as we saw our fairy-tale carriage, and we weren’t the only people to fall under its spell – as we clattered through the streets, people actually waved and clapped to see us! We grinned like fools all the way to Pont Alexandre III and back.
ROMANCE LEVEL : 1 0
Manstouch, 13 Avenue Duquesne, http://manstouch.co.uk; one-hour, tour €150.
Beauty and the bistro
You hear of these little eateries – word-of-mouth treasures that ooze authentic Parisian romance – but until you’ve actually eaten in one you can’t truly appreciate their apeal. Set in a 500-year-old house, the charming and eclectic Au Vieux Paris is one such treasure. Confession time: at some stage during this final outing, I lost the Love Tester! I don’t know where (I like to think it’s now in the hands of another curious couple in love), but by this stage we didn’t need it. We knew the score – it was the dream end to a truly romantic weekend… according to the Love Tester!
ROMANCE LEVEL: 8
Au Vieux Paris d’Arcole, 24 rue Chanoinesse, www.larochebrochard.org; from €46.
