BY SARAH RODRIGUES
With comedy maven Vince Vaughan at the helm of October’s all-star movie release Couples Retreat, you’re virtually guaranteed romance gone awry.
The premise is simple: take four couples, put them in paradise and then watch as, rather than getting the sun-drenched, relaxing luxury they thought they’d signed up for, they’re forced to participate in the resort’s compulsory relationship-counselling programme and thus come face to face with the full dysfunctionality of their partnerships.
Fingers crossed that’s never happened to you, but there’s no doubt that holidays-for-two are ripe with potential danger. Things like forgetting passports, getting ripped off or getting lost can inspire classic rows, and – as most of us can testify – romantic getaways can be just as fraught with tension as awash with passion! Here’s how seven couples fared with theirs…
The never-been-away-without-the-kids-before couple
AMANDA, 38, and IAN BROOMHALL, 45, have two children, aged 9 and 11.
Where: Prague.
Why: Although well-travelled, they’d never been to a former Communist country, plus it was theirfirst child-free holiday in over 11 years, so it was guaranteed to be a whole new experience. On a practical level, Prague is a short distance from the UK, and served by lots of flights, so they could get back to the kids if needed.
What they hoped for: A pleasant distraction from waiting tofind out whether Amanda, a twice-before surrogate, was pregnant with her third surrogacy.
What they got: “Culture, stunning architecture and a cosmopolitan atmosphere – magic,” says Amanda. They also, she says, “got to know each other all over again” as lovers, rather than just partners in parenting. “We felt like naughty teenagers who’d escaped for a bit of fun.” Other highlights were eating out à deux and wandering the narrow streets of the picture-pretty city, soaking up the atmosphere.
Most swoon-worthy moment: “Seeing a couple get married in the Old Town Square – there was such a fairy-tale quality to the setting that it made us feel a bit mushy!”
Romance-O-Meter
The spontaneous last-minuters
NATALIE HUGHES, journalist, fashionista and shopaholic, and boyfriend HUGO SQUIRE, both 22.
Where: Jersey.
Why: “A perfect weekend distance.”
What they hoped for: Glamorous Natalie packed a holiday capsule wardrobe that was Riviera-worthy, but hapless Hugo’s last-minute planning meant they couldn’t get a table at the Michelin-starred Bohemia (www.bohemiajersey.com); the ensuing row meant that Natalie wouldn’t let Hugo try body boarding and he wouldn’t let her shop for jewellery at Jersey Pearl (www.jerseypearl.com).
What they got: Sun, sand and great lunches at the Oyster Box (www.oysterbox.co.uk) and the Salty Dog (www.saltydogbistro.com).
Most swoon-worthy moment: “Feeling likefilm stars on our own beach; my Topshop Express bikini order was not in vain!”
Romance-O-Meter
The romance rekindlers
CHARNEY MAGRI, 31, and FRANCES LEUNG, 35, have been together for three years.
Where: Paris.
Why: Various commitments had been forcing the couple to spend way too much time apart.
What they hoped for: Romance, romance and more romance. Frances had booked a room at afive-star hotel, Le Meurice (www..lemeurice.com) – luckily, it was just as exquisite as it claims to be, since the pair barely left their room.
What they got: All the magic of the City of Lovers, and all without even really seeing the city! “There were bubble baths, black and white movies, room service and Champagne – we only ventured out twice, and only for an hour each time.” Most thrilling of all was the positive pregnancy test they got a few weeks later, but instead of calling their baby Paris, they named her Eleira!
Most swoon-worthy moment: The “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door said it all!
Romance-O-Meter
The wedding guests
VICTOR TEIXEIRA, 34, and his partner, PAUL DIKES, 46, have been together for overfive years.
Where: Lisbon.
Why: To attend a wedding.
What they expected: Great nightlife and a gay-friendly vibe.
What they got: Fantastic restaurants with cod served in every conceiveable way. The couple spent most of their time in the Bairro Alto – the area buzzes all night since the locals tend to dine late and follow their meal with a few drinks at a bar; the clubs don’t really get going until 3 or 4am and close at 7 or 8pm. “The sightseeing is really worthwhile too.”
Most swoon-worthy moment: “Attending an evening concert in the grounds of St George’s Castle; the view over the city at night is a spectacular backdrop for romance.
Romance-O-Meter
The emptynesters
JANE PHILLIPS, 65, and her husband, IAN, 72, have been married for 43 years.
Where: Bordeaux.
Why: Since their three children have flown the coop, Jane and Ian have travelled several times with wine-tour organisers Arblaster & Clarke (www.winetours.co.uk). What they hoped for: A holiday with some structure and interest and the chance to meet people.
What they got: Access to many châteaux that are closed to the public if you’re not part of a tour group, plus the educational and social aspects of tasting.
Most swoon-worthy moment: The chance to enjoy somefine wines – perhaps all the more glow-inducing since Jane and Ian are of the swallow, not spit, school!
Romance-O-Meter
The new parents
SARAH DEO, 36, and DAVE HOLLAND, 35, married four years.
Where: Barcelona.
Why: Sarah has wanted to go to Barcelona for years and wasn’t going to let having two babies (aged 10 months and two years) impede her plans!
What they expected: Somewhere that would be a destination in itself: neither of them particularly enjoy museums and galleries, preferring to wander about, checking out the locals and admiring the architecture of a city.
What they got: “The children loved the beach and the street artists on Las Ramblas, and we love eating out – so we booked an apartment, shopped at La Boqueria market (www.boqueria.info) and fed and bathed the children at the usual time – but then put them in their pushchairs. We’d park the buggies next to a sidewalk table and enjoy a meal while the babies slept by our sides. It worked until the night some buskers woke them up just as our food arrived…”
Most swoon-worthy moment: “Eating helados (ice cream) as we walked back to our apartment after a meal – there’s something so ‘first date’ about walking along eating ice cream at night.”
Romance-O-Meter
The soon-to- be-weds
MARIA TABB and PAUL ROGERS, both 24, have been together for four years.
Where: Cardiff.
Why: Maria studied at the university in Carmarthen, so Paul would often travel down to meet her for romantic weekends in Cardiff; it’s become “their” place.
What they hoped for: Since the couple live in sleepy Norfolk, they enjoy the big-city atmosphere of Cardiff; it’s vibrant without being as hectic and overwhelming as, say, London. They both love to shop so the range of brands, both high street and high end, is a real draw.
What they got: A proposal – and an acceptance! Maria and Paul always go to the Hard Rock Café (www.hardrock.com) for dinner, but as they were heading out, Paul said he had to run back upstairs because he’d “forgotten his mobile phone”. Luckily, Maria didn’t suspect a thing, so coming back to a teddy bear and two champagne glasses on the table was a total burst-into-tears surprise moment.
Most swoon-worthy moment: “We didn’t tell anyone that we were engaged until we got back home so, aside from the proposal itself, there was something incredibly romantic about spending the next day playing on the arcades in Barry (about 15 minutes from Cardiff by train) knowing that we had such a gorgeous secret.”
Romance-O-Meter
Couples Retreat, from Universal, is released on 14 October (www.couplesretreatmovie.com)
TOP 5 LOVER UPPERS
Set your lover’s heart a-flutter with these romantic ideas from around the network.
1 Paris
Eiffel, schmeiffel. All great love stories continue beyond the grave, so head to the Père Lachaise cemetery – even if you can’t read the inscriptions, you can’t fail to be moved by all those affirmations of love after death. Metro station Père Lachaise.
2 Amsterdam
One of the city’s most picturesque squares, the Amstelveld is surrounded by quaint cafés and an old wooden church; go on a Monday when it’s also host to a flower market and buy armfuls of blooms for your loved one. Metro station Weesperplein.
3 Belfast
Cocktails and romance go hand in hand, so head to the Merchant Hotel, which has just been awarded “World’s Best Hotel Bar” and “World’s Best Cocktail Menu” at the Spirit Awards in New Orleans. 35-39 Waring Street, Cathedral Quarter; www.themerchanthotel.com
4 Faro
Surely not even the most resolutely anti-romantic could fail to be won over by a sunset trip, complete with Champagne and seafood, on the protected Ria Formosa lagoon in a traditional Algarvefishing boat. Formosamar boat trips; www.formosamar.pt
5 Edinburgh
Remember when you were a teen and an un-scary horrorfilm was a good thing because it gave you an excuse to bury your face in your date’s shoulder? The Cadies & Witchery Tours are more kooky than spooky, but that’s no reason not to stick close together. www.witcherytours.com (turn to p.26 for our special ghost feature!)
