Photography: Getty, Lee Jones, Corbis
For the competitors in the annual World Stone Skimming Championships, the 40m distance between the west Scottish mainland and tiny Easdale Island is quite literally not even a stone’s throw. But if you’re running late for the competition’s registration and the ferryman is insisting on his half-hour tea and sandwich break before re-commencing his duties, it’s an absolute chasm.
The insouciance of the salty seadog and the quality of his salmon and scallion sandwich meant that I missed the registration deadline and was refused entry to the competition. But the timely intervention of the event organiser’s wife secured my late inclusion; she accepted my argument that, because I live in Belfast – where throwing stones and bottles used to be a popular summer sport – I was actually a pre-tournament favourite. I would later wish she hadn’t bothered.
Easdale is spectacularly situated between the gloriously rugged west coast of Scotland south of Oban and the world famous Hebrides Islands, so beloved of Mendelssohn, which pepper the horizon over the Irish Sea. It’s only about two hours’ drive from the centre of Glasgow, but there’s an isolated, almost eerie feel to Easdale and its neighbour on the mainland, Ellenabeich, which was used as the location for the film version of Kidnapped.
A flooded former slate quarry serves as the venue for the Championships, and it is indeed a stunning amphitheatre in which to do battle. It looks like a beautiful, unnaturally perfect reservoir. Two lines of buoys stretch the 60m length, marking the skimming channel. Stones that skip outside the lane don’t count. The competitors get five throws each, and each stone must skip at least three times to be counted.
By the time I arrived, a young man from Perthshire by the name of Dougie Isaacs had clattered three of his five stones into the wall at the back of the quarry, registering three scores of the maximum distance, 60m. My only hope was to equal Dougie’s distance and force a play-off.
I was the last skimmer of the day, and strode to the large stone-throwing platform with my five weapons, imagining myself as a powerful Celtic god who would effortlessly bounce rocks off the water, scattering the seabirds for miles around.
The event organiser was marking the scores. He had the look of a man who has seen enough stone skimming to last him a lifetime.
I crouched low on the platform. The lane looked much narrower than I’d first thought. The wind was getting up, rippling the water into an uneven surface, not conducive to good stone-skim control. I steeled myself and let fly. The stone slapped into the water about 10m in front of me, skipped once and then sank without trace.
“No throw,” declared the organiser pointlessly, and with more than a hint of a smirk. My second throw pitched further down the course, but again could only manage one skip. I was getting very nervous now. The third throw – praise the Lord – skipped three times between the lane and sank opposite the 24m mark.
A respectable effort thus recorded, I really let fly with the last two in a desperate bid to equal Dougie. Unfortunately, I “let them fly” right out of the lane without even touching the water.
That evening, at the event’s prize-giving and after party in the island’s slate-built community centre, I was mortified to witness a score of 24m securing only third prize in the Boys’ Under-10’s category. Hearing the MC later declaring winner Dougie Isaacs “the world’s biggest tosser”, only marginally improved my humour.
I retreated to the Willowburn Hotel on Clachan Sound, Seil, immersed in self-pity. Luckily, it’s one of the finest eateries in Scotland. It’s not easy to feel sorry for yourself when you’re wiping the juice of venison in wine and wild herbs from your chops. Who wants to be known as “the world’s biggest tosser” anyway?
PEBBLE DASHES
• The 2009 World Stone Skimming Championships take place on Sunday 27 September.
• Easdale Island, 16 miles south of Oban, in Argyll, is the smallest inhabited island in the Inner Hebrides.
• There’s an excellent pre-tournament party in the island’s slate community centre the night before. Check website for details: www.stoneskimming.com
• There’s also a great variety of accommodation around Ellenabeich and Oban. The excellent Willowburn Hotel and Restaurant can be found at: www.willowburn.co.uk
• Closer to Glasgow, and on your way to the World Championships, you can practise at the following beautiful water venues: – The world famous Loch Lomond is the biggest single expanse of inland water in the British Isles and you can be on its shore just a 20 minute’s drive from Glasgow airport. – Loch Katrine, near Aberfoyle, though not strictly on the way, is only an hour’s drive from Glasgow and very pretty. It was the inspiration for Sir Walter Scott’s poem, The Lady of the Lake, and his tales of legendary Scottish historical figure, Rob Roy MacGregor. – The idyllic village of Arrochar lies at the top of Loch Long, about an hour’s drive from Glasgow, and marks the midway point between the city and Easdale.
