How would Scotland’s favourite son celebrate his birthday if he was around today?
BY THOM DIBDIN
As 25 January approaches, sales of haggis, whisky, “neeps” (turnips) and “tatties” (potatoes) incr ease across Scotland as the country prepares for the annual round of Burns Suppers. Today, 250 years after the birth of the national bard, we’re still honouring Robert (“Rabbie” for short) Burns, but he was a star in his own lifetime too. Univer sally recognised, self-motivated and something of a dandy, Burns was the David Beckham of his day – although he was more of a playboy seducer than Posh would have stood for!
It was in 1776, at the age of 17, that he headed for E dinburgh seeking fame and fortune. An early edition of his poems was already a hit and Edinburgh became his playground overnight. He kept the company of fine ladies in their rooms by day – and the finest wits and mind s of the age in the drinking clubs by night.
The ritual of the Burns Supper started in these clubs after his death, aged only 37. Today, formal Burns Suppers and informal sup per parties around the world ensure the rituals are kept alive and unc hanged. At formal events there’s a strict order to things: after grace, the haggis is brought in on a platter accompanied by bagpipes, and Burns’ famous address “T o a Haggis” is read while the traditional Scottish delicacy is cut. P eople tuck in while a reading called “The Immortal Memory” is given, followed by various other speeches, responses, poems and songs, before the event concludes with the singing of “Auld Lang Syne”.It’s all great fun, but if Rabbie were around toda y, would that jack-the-lad be keen on something so grand and formal? We suspect he might prefer something a bit more freewheeling…
So what would Rabbie Burns get up to if he were to celebrate his birthday in modern Edinburgh?
George Street
The playboy in Burns will love upmarket George Street and the string of equally upmarket bars at its western end. This is the place to hang out with footballers – and with those for whom the credit crunch is nothing but a newspaper headline! Here, Rabbie will find cocktails, dancing and plenty of scope for practising his powers of seduction. The Opal Lounge (51a George Street, www.opallounge.co.uk), Ivory Lounge (126-128 George Street, www.ivoryloungebar.co.uk) and Candy Bar (113-115 George Street, http:// candybaredinburgh.co.uk) all have their pretensions, but it’s the champagne bar at Tigerlily (125 George Street, www.tigerlilyedinburgh.co.uk) and the night-club Lulu (125b George Street, www.luluedinburgh.co.uk; above) beneath, where we think he’ll find the perfect glam nightspot in which to celebrate his birthday to excess.
The Stand comedy club
The audience is right up under the chin of the comedians in The Stand (5 York Place, www.thestand. co.uk), a world-renowned comedy club. Burns’ 250th birthday being a Sunday, he can celebrate with a set from US comedy star Reginald D Hunter on the eve of the big day, or pop along to the “Whose Lunch is it Anyway?” session on the actual day for a spot of free, improvised comedy – and one of The Stand’s big brunches to help him gather his wits after the excesses of the night before!
Music
Scottish songstress Sharleen Spiteri (the one-time lead singer of Texas) takes to the stage of the Edinburgh Playhouse (18-22 Greenside Place, www.. edinburghplayhouse.org.uk) on Rabbie’s birthday. But for the true music of the people – which Burns loved and spent his life collecting – we think he’ll prefer the edge and raw energy of Bannermans Bar (212 Cowgate, www.. bannermansgigs.co.uk). Sadly, he won’t find the Bay City Rollers [right] performing in the vaulted back room, but the offerings from local bands are just as noisy and enthusiastic. Round the corner, the Wee Folk Club in the tiny basement bar of the Royal Oak (1 Infirmary Street, www.royal-oakfolk.com) provides the kind of music that Scots have been playing since Burns’ own time.
Eating out
Burns definitely needs to head upstairs at the award-winning Voodoo Rooms (19a West Register Street, www.thevoodoorooms.com; below). The original decor has been titivated with black and gold, the meals have a hint of the West Indies about them and the cocktail list is decadence incarnate, while in the adjoining ballroom, there’s a programme of sophisticated bands, American hip-hop acts and risqué burlesque evenings – it’s all very much up Burns’ alley, albeit with a modern twist! And if the renowned playboy is in need of an aphrodisiac, the Café Royal Oyster Bar (17a West Register Street, tel: +44 (0)131 556 4124) is the best restaurant in town to quaff champagne and oysters – it has the literary stamp of approval from present-day writer Irvine Welsh, who says it’s his favourite restaurant in the city.
Edinburgh’s finest eatery is undoubtedly the Michelin-starred Restaurant Martin Wishart (54 The Shore, Leith, www.martin-wishart.co.uk) – a place where Burns will enjoy lingering over exquisitely prepared Scottish takes on French cuisine. Although, after a big night out on the town, he might well feel the urge to drop into L’Alba D’Oro (7 Henderson Row, www.lalbadoro.com), Edinburgh’s best chippy and home of the “haggis supper” (haggis and chips) – and 300 different beers, wines and spirits!
HOLD YOUR OWN BURNS SUPPER
- Haggis, neeps and tatties to eat, whisky to drink and a book of poems to recite (including some of Burns’) are staples at any Burns Supper. But the most important ingredient is convivial company.
- Haggis [below] is symbolic of the common people. For a particularly fine fresh haggis, try award-winning butcher Crombie’s (www.sausages.co.uk).
- Whisky helps loosen the tongue – and gives Dutch courage to anyone making a toast or reciting a poem! The most copious selection in Edinburgh is at Royal Mile Whiskies (379 High Street, The Royal Mile, www.royalmilewhiskies.com)
- The poems are what it’s all about at a Burns Supper. Rabbie’s own works span a multitude of styles, from “A Red, Red Rose” (the love poem cited by Bob Dylan as his inspiration to become a poet), to “Tam o’Shanter”, regarded as the finest narrative poem in any European tongue. For one of the more bawdy clubs he belonged to, he even wrote “Nine Inch will Please a Lady”! So bring poems and songs of all styles to the table and be prepared to share them.
- Burns’ 250th birthday marks the start of Homecoming Scotland, an effort to unite Scots and lovers of all things Scottish across the world. Be part of it all by logging on to www.burnssupper2009.com
THE NEXT DAY…
- The Scots have their very own remedy for the morning-after-the-night-before. Irn-Bru – “bru’d in Scotland from girders”, according to its most famous advertising slogan – tastes a bit like bubblegum, rehydrates the brain, kick-starts the body with a big sugar hit and fizzes the eyeballs into instant alertness.
- Brunch at one of Edinburgh’s many fine cafés provides a more sedate and civilised hangover cure. Try Always Sunday (170 High Street, www.alwayssunday.co.uk) – a good central rendezvous spot.
